i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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