Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
