A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it because I queefed?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
