ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
