Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
