Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize