I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
