well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
