Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
