You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
