i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
