Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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