so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
