Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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