you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
