last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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