Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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