Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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