I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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