hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
