im drinking this country out of the recession.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
