I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
