Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
