just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
