He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
