Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
