We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
