69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
