Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
