so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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