I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
