Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you win again, gameday.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
