I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
