You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
