found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
