perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
