i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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