I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
