Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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