you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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