I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
