I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
