Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
