FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
