Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
