3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
