Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
