Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
