I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
