I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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