all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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