Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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