so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
