Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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