thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
